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| Since few people read this I figure I can expand on my creativity and speak about things a little more personal to me. Over this last year I have noticed many things. One thing seems to be that I am a step behind where ever I go. Some of it is my fault, some of it I don't understand how everyone else seems so far ahead. Some things are object, some are knowledge, some are relationships, all are things that I want to be at the point where I could have but at the same time know I am not ready as a person for the responsibilities.
Marriage is the first subject. I have gone through life with many theories on the opposite sex and my relationship with them, Zach can attest to that. These theories grow and develop, each step I think I have the correct and final concept. First of all, I really want to get married but not for just the sake of getting married. I will share with you my recent theory on relationships between men and women. Peoples personalities, emotions, and responses all ways are changing, I use the image of a line graph. Like everything in our world they run on cycles but through time and environment these cycles change in length. Each person's cycles evolve differently. My cycle at age 16 may not have lined up with anyone in my high school but some 24 year old in California may have lined up with me perfectly. The point being that there are many people around the world that can line up with your current cycle, these cycles will fluctuate and since you are not in the same environment with the same knowledge being learned your cycles will change.
I am trying hard not to bunny trail. The concept I am trying to get across is this. There are no soul mates, at least not in the classical sense. A marriage works because at some point two people who's cycles lined up the same at the point they were in there lives and they made the decision to give the last of their physical and emotional selves to the other. Throughout this relationship their cycles have misaligned which would be times they have trouble sticking with each other. Of course also during these times you tend to met someone else you lines up perfectly with you at that time, powering through this and the time of misalignment with your spouse is what is means to get through the tough times. So to wrap up my ramblings on my theory, there is not just one person out their for you, their are many but you make the choice to give your self fully to only one.
So why is this on my mind, well first off women are never off a guys mind. Next it seems like I am behind and should be moving forward in this area of my life. With AJ and Abi getting married and AJ being the same age I am honestly 100% jealous he gets to enjoy that amazing relationship. People have priorities, goals, and meanings to their lives. Well mine is to have a family, I don't care if I am rich, if I have a boat or a cottage, or go on vacation to Europe. I just want to enjoy life with a family of my own.
Next thing that people my age seem to be getting is knowledge towards their career. Now I did make the decision myself to take a year off, which I still think was good because I would still be no where and in more debt. I thought I was one of the people that knew what I wanted to do with my life. Computers, it was a simple answer that was in front of me. And everyone said I was good at it. So it makes sense until I realized that I was good compared to everyone else, once in that area it seemed like everyone else knew more than me and they learned faster. This plus the fact computers made me pissed off pretty fast was not much of a driving force to continue with that field. So now I am here, a year behind everyone else with still no idea what I want to do. I am going back but am only taking things I want. Maybe that is good for me to do, either way it is happening so I am not stagnant anymore.
A house, that is the third thing that seems to be happening. It represents a independence and the ability to do things your way instead of your parents or what ever your apartment contract restricts you to. I do not know to many people my age....ok I only know one, but still it seems to be so close in reach until I realize I can't afford one. It is only and object but the abilities it allows.
The final thing is big, but I obviously want this to happen only after marriage. A child, I am a small group leader for 1st graders and love being with kids. Granted I know I only get them an hour a week while their parents get to deal with them the rest of the time but still. I know of a couple of people close to my age with kids. Just the relationship used as a metaphor to describe so many things. This is probably one of the things it is hard to explain my reasoning so I won't.
To recap: I want to find that someone who is willing to devote their life to me as me to them. I want to find a goal for my career, what am I gonna do that will provide a income for my family. I want a place of my own, or of my own family. Finally I want a child to care for and teach things about life to.
Some may say I'm crazy or I am getting ahead of my self. I am and I know that. These are just things in life I want. When they come they come, I just felt like sharing.
Leave comments on what you think, and I know it was hard to follow so I am working on expressing my thoughts to text.
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| The following is a list of ten things I need to give up and ten things I need more of to have a happier healthier life.
Ten Things to Give Up:
1. Chocolate
2. Pop/Soda/Cola
3. Fast Food Burgers
4. Ranch
5. Fries
6. Driving Everywhere
7. Deep Fried Food
8. Most Computer Time (Not completely)
9. A Specific Vice of Mine (Those who need to know, know)
10. High Fructose Corn Syrup
Ten Things to Have More of:
1. Water
2. Eggs
3. Fish (yuck, but it is good for you)
4. Fruit (Fruit a Day)
5. Multi Vitamin
6. Sun Light
7. Exercise
8. Group Activities
9. Hours Awake
10. Breakfast
Let me know what you think.
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| This trip was very up in the air all the way through. Danielle messaged me a month ago to let me know she was finally going to be going down to Nashville to see her sister. Now for those who do not know, Danielle and I met about 3.5 years ago on a mission trip in Mexico. She lives in Washington. Now since Nashville is a lot closer than Washington and since we have been trying to meet up for quite awhile now I decided to go down and see her. I had one month to save up, which turned out to be just fine. I left on Wed. the 25th; I did not even have a planned time for leaving, ended up leave at about 11:00 am eastern. Now this drive is a 590 mi drive, 9 hours driving time. I went by myself and it wasn't as bad as my worried mother thought it was going to be (Love you Mommy.)
I decided that since I did not have a specific time I was going to get there I could take my time and do the speed limit the whole way, which included the 55mph locations. It was "smooth sailing" most of the way. That is until in mid Indiana my radio antenna on my car, which had been barely hanging on, finally broke and dangled along my car. This meant I could barely get any radio stations. Luckily I did have a couple of CDs. After going through them I finally decided to stick with Chris Sligh. Well now again I was going along smooth until Louisville. In Louisville the speed limit is 55, so I went 55. Well everyone else was going 60 or 65 so they all just passed me. The road was a 4 or 5 lane road at the time. I had people passing me on the lane to my left and a semi passing on the far right lane. There was no one in front of me for about 6 or 7 car lengths. This RV was passing on my immediate right. I saw them coming up but did not think much about it. It passed me to the point where I was in the middle of its profile. Then all of a sudden my car shook violently. I was stunned. Luckily my cars alignment is off so it pulled to the left so I was already putting pressure on to the wheel to the right so when I felt the shaking I was able to stay in my lane. I was very confused for a second until I realized that the RV was just partly in my lane and was moving back to their lane. I looked over and my mirror got turned in. I was unsure as what to do for a moment, and then I realized that the RV was accelerating and was not planning on stopping. So I drove up near the cab and hit my horn several times and kept pointing to the side of the road. There was no response. So I dropped behind the guy and called 911. I read off the license plate to the operator and gave a quick recap; he had me pull over to the next exit. I got out and looked at my car and kind of snickered. There was only and indentation in my back passenger door and some paint transfer along that side of the car. So I unfolded my mirror out, it was not broken, and talked to the operator. The wait for a policeman for a non emergency in Louisville was going to be really long so he gave me the option to go online, fill out a form and send it in and then the police would sent back a police report for me, he said it was the exact same thing as if I waited for a cop, just more convenient. So that was the sideswipe by the RV. The only other incident was when I made it to Nashville I missed and exit and got lost. Luckily since I am a man with an internal compass I needed no map and found my way around, just kidding I got really lucky and found an alternate exit.
So now I got to Danielle's sister's place. It was about quarter to 9pm eastern/ 8pm central. This was a very deciding moment. I had not seen Danielle (or her mom) for 3.5 years, so I was very (very) nervous. Everything was good though, I was greeted with hugs, meet Danielle's sisters for the first time. I decided to cut out though after a half hour since they just got there also and was really there to see her sister. When they found out I was staying in my car they offered their couch, I declined at least for the first night. I had to sleep out in my car the first night on principle, plus I just met the rest of her family and at that point I felt very awkward with them; surprisingly though not with Danielle.
So I slept in my car for the first night. It was not that bad, I do with I would have had one of those sleeping blind fold because of the street light but beside that I got a decent sleep. Well at least somewhat of a sleep since my energy was high, and was really excited. The next morning I woke up before my alarm went off, about 8am central.
So I go into her sister's place, Danielle and her younger are lying on the couch. We chill out for a little while. Danielle her mom and I ran to Costco and Lowes to get groceries and paint. After we dropped of her mom and the stuff we decided to run up to the mall and get something to eat. We walked around the mall for a little while before trying to find something to eat. We ended up and The Cheesecake Factory, which was absolutely delicious. Then we went a little farther into town and walked around. We ended up walking into the Vanderbilt campus. On our way back to the car we noticed a Salon and Spa. I thought a massage would be cool if I were to stay for Friday (that was up in the air.) We went in and got some info. We then went back to her sister's place and played some cards and watched a movie. I decided to stay for the next day since her sister was still going to be work, and not leave until Saturday. That night I said on the couch and talked with Danielle for a long while.
So Friday morning we were a little sluggish to get moving. I ended up taking a shower there and we watch movie. Her mom made us a, in my opinion, delicious lunch before we went to our massage appointments. Danielle had never had a professional massage while I had never had a full body message before. Basically put, it was awesome. From there we went back to her sister's place laid around and talked some more. We threw on another movie though we actually did not really watch it. We then took Baker, her sister's dog, for a walk. Her brother-in-law got home from work and we were all going to pick up her sister form work so the family could see where she works. Well her sister works for Alpha Media Group, which are the magazines Maxim and Blender. Yes that is correct, I went to one of the corporate offices for Maxim magazine and no I did not bring back any souvenirs for anyone. ;)
That evening I took Danielle out to Carrabba's for dinner. That was very pleasant. We then went back to her sister's. With the whole family we watched Twilight; yeah I will admit the movie was pretty decent. Again that night I slept on the couch, well I should say I crashed on the couch. That night Danielle learned that I am a snorer; she also learned she has permission to kick me when I do so I will adjust and stop.
Saturday was a dreaded day. T’was the day I had to leave. I really hate goodbyes! To sum it up, there were a lot of hugs and the need for much will power to get myself into my car. You can bet that the 9 hour car ride back home was not so much fun. Nothing special happened on the way up. I was very exhausted though and was struggling to stay focused. I did do the speed limit the whole way back, as I pinky promised Danielle. I got home at about 9:30pm eastern.
All in all, this trip was worth it.
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| This trip was very up in the air all the way through. Danielle messaged me a month ago to let me know she was finally going to be going down to Nashville to see her sister. Now for those who do not know, Danielle and I met about 3.5 years ago on a mission trip in Mexico. She lives in Washington. Now since Nashville is a lot closer than Washington and since we have been trying to meet up for quite awhile now I decided to go down and see her. I had one month to save up, which turned out to be just fine. I left on Wed. the 25th; I did not even have a planned time for leaving, ended up leave at about 11:00 am eastern. Now this drive is a 590 mi drive, 9 hours driving time. I went by myself and it wasn't as bad as my worried mother thought it was going to be (Love you Mommy.)
I decided that since I did not have a specific time I was going to get there I could take my time and do the speed limit the whole way, which included the 55mph locations. It was "smooth sailing" most of the way. That is until in mid Indiana my radio antenna on my car, which had been barely hanging on, finally broke and dangled along my car. This meant I could barely get any radio stations. Luckily I did have a couple of CDs. After going through them I finally decided to stick with Chris Sligh. Well now again I was going along smooth until Louisville. In Louisville the speed limit is 55, so I went 55. Well everyone else was going 60 or 65 so they all just passed me. The road was a 4 or 5 lane road at the time. I had people passing me on the lane to my left and a semi passing on the far right lane. There was no one in front of me for about 6 or 7 car lengths. This RV was passing on my immediate right. I saw them coming up but did not think much about it. It passed me to the point where I was in the middle of its profile. Then all of a sudden my car shook violently. I was stunned. Luckily my cars alignment is off so it pulled to the left so I was already putting pressure on to the wheel to the right so when I felt the shaking I was able to stay in my lane. I was very confused for a second until I realized that the RV was just partly in my lane and was moving back to their lane. I looked over and my mirror got turned in. I was unsure as what to do for a moment, and then I realized that the RV was accelerating and was not planning on stopping. So I drove up near the cab and hit my horn several times and kept pointing to the side of the road. There was no response. So I dropped behind the guy and called 911. I read off the license plate to the operator and gave a quick recap; he had me pull over to the next exit. I got out and looked at my car and kind of snickered. There was only and indentation in my back passenger door and some paint transfer along that side of the car. So I unfolded my mirror out, it was not broken, and talked to the operator. The wait for a policeman for a non emergency in Louisville was going to be really long so he gave me the option to go online, fill out a form and send it in and then the police would sent back a police report for me, he said it was the exact same thing as if I waited for a cop, just more convenient. So that was the sideswipe by the RV. The only other incident was when I made it to Nashville I missed and exit and got lost. Luckily since I am a man with an internal compass I needed no map and found my way around, just kidding I got really lucky and found an alternate exit.
So now I got to Danielle's sister's place. It was about quarter to 9pm eastern/ 8pm central. This was a very deciding moment. I had not seen Danielle (or her mom) for 3.5 years, so I was very (very) nervous. Everything was good though, I was greeted with hugs, meet Danielle's sisters for the first time. I decided to cut out though after a half hour since they just got there also and was really there to see her sister. When they found out I was staying in my car they offered their couch, I declined at least for the first night. I had to sleep out in my car the first night on principle, plus I just met the rest of her family and at that point I felt very awkward with them; surprisingly though not with Danielle.
So I slept in my car for the first night. It was not that bad, I do with I would have had one of those sleeping blind fold because of the street light but beside that I got a decent sleep. Well at least somewhat of a sleep since my energy was high, and was really excited. The next morning I woke up before my alarm went off, about 8am central.
So I go into her sister's place, Danielle and her younger are lying on the couch. We chill out for a little while. Danielle her mom and I ran to Costco and Lowes to get groceries and paint. After we dropped of her mom and the stuff we decided to run up to the mall and get something to eat. We walked around the mall for a little while before trying to find something to eat. We ended up and The Cheesecake Factory, which was absolutely delicious. Then we went a little farther into town and walked around. We ended up walking into the Vanderbilt campus. On our way back to the car we noticed a Salon and Spa. I thought a massage would be cool if I were to stay for Friday (that was up in the air.) We went in and got some info. We then went back to her sister's place and played some cards and watched a movie. I decided to stay for the next day since her sister was still going to be work, and not leave until Saturday. That night I said on the couch and talked with Danielle for a long while.
So Friday morning we were a little sluggish to get moving. I ended up taking a shower there and we watch movie. Her mom made us a, in my opinion, delicious lunch before we went to our massage appointments. Danielle had never had a professional massage while I had never had a full body message before. Basically put, it was awesome. From there we went back to her sister's place laid around and talked some more. We threw on another movie though we actually did not really watch it. We then took Baker, her sister's dog, for a walk. Her brother-in-law got home from work and we were all going to pick up her sister form work so the family could see where she works. Well her sister works for Alpha Media Group, which are the magazines Maxim and Blender. Yes that is correct, I went to one of the corporate offices for Maxim magazine and no I did not bring back any souvenirs for anyone. ;)
That evening I took Danielle out to Carrabba's for dinner. That was very pleasant. We then went back to her sister's. With the whole family we watched Twilight; yeah I will admit the movie was pretty decent. Again that night I slept on the couch, well I should say I crashed on the couch. That night Danielle learned that I am a snorer; she also learned she has permission to kick me when I do so I will adjust and stop.
Saturday was a dreaded day. T’was the day I had to leave. I really hate goodbyes! To sum it up, there were a lot of hugs and the need for much will power to get myself into my car. You can bet that the 9 hour car ride back home was not so much fun. Nothing special happened on the way up. I was very exhausted though and was struggling to stay focused. I did do the speed limit the whole way back, as I pinky promised Danielle. I got home at about 9:30pm eastern.
All in all, this trip was worth it.
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| Hey Guys this will be my last entry for a while I think since I'm leaving Flordia and the internet. I'm going to try and work out something so I can get internet but for now I'm stuck. See a lot of you sunday and for the rest, you can find a way to reach me if you need to. | | |
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